Skip to main content

Kimberly Blessing

On the Writing Process

4 min read

I am not a storyteller.

This was the thought I had the other day, after reading Neil Gaiman's tribute to Lou Reed. Those guys are storytellers.

I love listening to stories. Reading stories. I love the way they take me on a journey. I'm able to just sit back, take everything in, have the plot laid out for me, the characters developed, and the whole thing resolved, all for my enjoyment and entertainment.

A good storyteller is a magical thing.

I bring this up because storytelling is an incredibly effective way of communicating. Because I am not a storyteller, communicating is often very difficult for me.

I recently published a blog post that took me over six weeks to write. Now, I wasn't working on it continuously for six weeks of course -- but I did have all of the important information I wanted to communicate identified six weeks ago. Structuring it so that it made sense is what took so darn long. And, by the time I published it yesterday, most people had moved on from thinking about that topic, and so it went over like a dud.

That's okay, I tell myself. I'm only writing for me: to practice writing, to capture my own thoughts. And then I call bullshit on myself, because I'm reloading the stats window and watching to see who retweets the link.

Once upon a time, writing wasn't hard for me. I just sat down and wrote and wrote and wrote. Creative writing, they called it -- and through 6th grade, it was among my top favorite things in school (probably after math and computer time and reading). Come junior high, I had to discipline myself and structure my thoughts to write five paragraph essays.

Ugh, five paragraph essays: an introduction, three supporting points each in their own paragraph, and a conclusion. I really sucked at those, and I have the bad grades to prove it.

Mr. Weaver, my history teacher, and my grandmother both spent a lot of time with me to help improve my structured writing approach. No longer could I just sit down and write, because the editing process made such a mess of my work that I couldn't look at it any longer. And so I began writing out individual sentences or thoughts on index cards, and sorting those into groups and then writing connector or transition statements on new cards and adding them to the mix. And, in the end, all I had to do was copy my index cards to paper and submit. Done. A+. I still have the first paper I ever wrote this way (on Henry Clay) -- and the supporting index cards! -- to show me that this approach works.

And this approach works for a lot of things. It's great for making slide decks, which I do a lot of in my work -- and with all of the practice I have, I do it rather quickly. I also wonder if this approach to writing didn't influence the way in which I code, since I really love the modular approach.

But when it comes to writing -- well, it's hardly writing, is it? I mean, it is, but it seems rote. Perfunctory. Emotionless. And so this is why I struggle to write now -- because I write from an emotional place. But my emotional place doesn't do well with logic and often communicates its point by feeding information between the lines, and so only the most careful of readers will get the point.

Storytelling is all about emotion -- great storytelling makes you feel something. Most of my writing falls flat from lack of emotion. But at least it gets the point across...?

So, what to do? Write and ramble and never quite get my point across? Or structure my thoughts, compose the thesis, defend it, all stocky and blocky and templatized and boring? How does one combine the two approaches?


PS: I wrote this in one sitting, and mostly in one shot straight through. The end is where I got hung up the most -- when I was trying to figure out what my point was. The opening and a few of the statements I wrote in my head, in the shower yesterday.

Kimberly Blessing

Unspoken expectations don’t work

1 min read

Unspoken expectations don’t work. Then again, some expectations, when communicated, may just go a bit too far.

If you don’t care about the French toast, then perhaps you don’t care about anything is my train of thought on the matter, and if you don’t care about anything, then working for me doesn’t seem feasible, as I have an insatiable desire to be surrounded by people who care as much as I do.

Stanley Kubrick, Some Instructions to the New Guy Concerning the Preparation and Presentation of My French Toast

Kimberly Blessing

Empathy is for Every One

3 min read

Title borrowed/tweaked from this Pastry Box post... with thanks to Viviana for the reminder.

I screwed up this week. I didn't mean to, of course. I did something, made a decision, for good and right reasons. I just did an incredibly poor job of communicating that something to others. Normally, that's not a really big deal, but in this case, it was. And so my screw up ended up occupying too many people's minds and time for too much of the week.

The first word in the name of this blog is People. I've realized that, throughout my career, when People didn't come first, things go wrong. And you can't just say that you're putting People first, you have to actually do it. To me, putting People first means having empathy for each individual, and considering their needs. Empathy is a crucial part of respect and trust, in my opinion.

I am best at putting People first when it comes to my team. Wherever I've worked, I have found empathy for those who reported to me, and I think/hope it has made me a good manager and leader. It hasn't always been easy, although it usually is. This week, my empathy for my team was running very high.

When it comes to the other end of the organization -- my peers and those higher in the leadership chain -- I realize that I sometimes forget about having empathy for the individual. Sometimes I get caught up in referring to "the management team" when all I see is bureaucracy. I have to stop and remind myself to see the People instead.

While empathy on my part can go a long way, it's ultimately a two-way street. I think we complain about working for our bosses, The Man, or Corporate America because those roles and organizations don't exhibit much or any empathy towards us. Too often, they demand respect due to their authority -- they intimidate and instill fear rather than communicate to understand and build trust. This, my friends, is debilitating.

Ultimately, I wasn't in a debilitating situation this week. I felt empathy for a member of my team, and I acted in that person's best interests. But I wasn't feeling any empathy for those I needed to inform about my actions, and I botched the communication. I'm shifting perspective and making amends, and writing this blog post to remind myself, because I know it will happen again.

Time to write "Empathy is for Every One" on a sticky note and put it on my monitor. Or, maybe have it tattooed on my hand.

Kimberly Blessing

Why I'm starting a new blog

2 min read

Welcome, and thanks for checking out my new blog!

My old blog, Obi-Wan Kimberly Is Your Only Hope, is still online and won't be going away. The content is all still relevant although the code needs major updating. It's still on my to-do list and it will happen, eventually.

I've been saying for a while that I need to get in the habit of writing more often. I love reading blogs by tech folks that write every day, even when they don't write about technical topics -- Tim Bray writes one of my favorites. If I can make time to read every day, I can make time to write everyday. I know how to form new habits, duh.

I'm starting fresh to free myself of constraints. I'm using a default WordPress theme in order to stop myself from making excuses about design tweaks or code changes. Even though I'm calling the site "People, Process, Technology", I'm going to allow myself to write about whatever's on my mind. (I'll explain why it's called "People, Process, Technology" soon, though!) In short, this site is a blank notebook for me. You're welcome to read through it, at your leisure.

Thanks again for stopping by and I hope to see you again soon.