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Kimberly Blessing

Empathy is for Every One

3 min read

Title borrowed/tweaked from this Pastry Box post... with thanks to Viviana for the reminder.

I screwed up this week. I didn't mean to, of course. I did something, made a decision, for good and right reasons. I just did an incredibly poor job of communicating that something to others. Normally, that's not a really big deal, but in this case, it was. And so my screw up ended up occupying too many people's minds and time for too much of the week.

The first word in the name of this blog is People. I've realized that, throughout my career, when People didn't come first, things go wrong. And you can't just say that you're putting People first, you have to actually do it. To me, putting People first means having empathy for each individual, and considering their needs. Empathy is a crucial part of respect and trust, in my opinion.

I am best at putting People first when it comes to my team. Wherever I've worked, I have found empathy for those who reported to me, and I think/hope it has made me a good manager and leader. It hasn't always been easy, although it usually is. This week, my empathy for my team was running very high.

When it comes to the other end of the organization -- my peers and those higher in the leadership chain -- I realize that I sometimes forget about having empathy for the individual. Sometimes I get caught up in referring to "the management team" when all I see is bureaucracy. I have to stop and remind myself to see the People instead.

While empathy on my part can go a long way, it's ultimately a two-way street. I think we complain about working for our bosses, The Man, or Corporate America because those roles and organizations don't exhibit much or any empathy towards us. Too often, they demand respect due to their authority -- they intimidate and instill fear rather than communicate to understand and build trust. This, my friends, is debilitating.

Ultimately, I wasn't in a debilitating situation this week. I felt empathy for a member of my team, and I acted in that person's best interests. But I wasn't feeling any empathy for those I needed to inform about my actions, and I botched the communication. I'm shifting perspective and making amends, and writing this blog post to remind myself, because I know it will happen again.

Time to write "Empathy is for Every One" on a sticky note and put it on my monitor. Or, maybe have it tattooed on my hand.